Saturday November 23rd.
Between noon and 1pm, cyclists gathered at Arsenal Playground for the ride. Babes on Bikes also had a table set up selling t-shirts and hoodies.
Registration was $5 for guys, $3 for guys in drag, and free for ladies.
Upon registering, riders were given a manifest, a map, a spoke card, a flash card, and these instructions:
- all checkpoints on the ride are optional and can be completed in any order
- every checkpoint is worth 3 points
- at each checkpoint, there are activities you can participate in to earn bonus points
- bonus stops! at select bars around the city there are some handsome dudes hanging out. riders can get one bonus point for each dude’s number they get, and one bonus point for buying a drink at the bar (a couple riders wanted to know if they could buy a slew of drinks and win a slew of points. sorry guys, one point per bar!). riders didn’t necessarily have to *drink* the drink, they just had to bring back a receipt showing they bought it.
- all the guys at the bars were allowed to demand a compliment in return for their phone numbers!
- the finish is at 5pm at the House Of Raging Women’s backyard
- the round corner cantina doesn’t open til 3…so don’t go there first!
At 12:55, it was explained what the flashcard was for. Before they could go, each rider had to write down the name of one rad lady - it didn’t matter if she was famous, currently around, or what she does. Then they had to hand in their flashcards to Anna-Lena or Di-ay and off they went.
The North Shore: At the historical plaque memorializing the 1845&1848 Women’s Cotton Mill Strike (in the roundabout on the trail between the 6th and 7th Street Bridges). At this checkpoint, riders could earn 2 bonus points for stitching their names into a swatch of fabric with various colored ribbon. They were only required to stitch legibly to get the points, but the best stitched swatches would get a bonus point at the end of the race.
Schenley Plaza: Under the tent pavilion between the Hillman and Carnegie Libraries, riders could earn 2 bonus points for decorating a plastic cosmopolitain cocktail glass. They could decorate them however they wanted, we only asked that their names or initials be somewhere on the glass. However, the best decorated glasses would get a bonus point.
East Liberty: At the “Steel City Scape” sculpture in Mellon Park, riders could take a “Rad Lady” flashcard quiz and earn a bonus point for each lady they could identify. There were 3 decks of 8 cards each. How many do YOU recognize??
Tazzo D’Oro (Highland Park): At this checkpoint, riders could earn 1 point for filling out a Lifetime Movie mad lib prompt sheet. Volunteers filled out the mad libs in the lull between riders, and the funniest ones earned a bonus point (and were read out loud later at the after party).
Mad lib prompts: 1. positive adjective describing someone 2. a number 3. a friend of yours 4. an adjective 5. someone you know 6. a city you don’t like 7. specialty/field of expertise 8. an adjective 9. a celebrity 10. type of doctor 11. a number 12. an adjective 13. someone you’d like to meet 14. your favorite musician 15. adjective ending in “-est” 16. profession 17. something edible 18. an adjective 19. profession 20. a corporation 21. a book 22. an adjective 23. type of food 24. an illness 25. a liquid 26. song title + artist 27. action ending in “-ing”
"You are a smart woman about to reunite with your 4 best lady friends at your 12 year college reunion. Cheryl Connors has called off work at her law firm to pick up your brilliant friend Scott Kowalski, who is currently working at Cleveland University as a customer service professor. Your witty friend Nicole Kidman, a podiatrist, meets you at the reunion, where the four of you bribe a cute RA with 32 bucks to let you spend the night in your surprisingly sweet old dorm. The gang is nearly all here, but you’re missing your fabulous socialite friend Mother Theresa, who is known for her globe-trotting adventures and famous lovers, including Sade, the kindest tour guide in the world. Speak of the devil! Mother Theresa appears around the corner, touting twice her weight in bananas. Later, you jump up with one of the now-empty bottles of bananas, exclaim: “I’ve been bad!” and confess to your girlfriends that you’ve been cheating on your sultry husband with your young, sexy motivational speaker. One by one, your girlfriends spill their dirty secrets of the last 12 years. Cheryl Connors has been involved in insider trading with Johnson & Johnson, while Scott Kowalski plagiarized a paper on sexual symbolism in "The Catcher in the Rye" from her unrealistically rusty grad student. Nicole Kidman, totally strapped for cash due to her compulsive Creole consumption, has been writing prescriptions for depression medication for bored housewives. Mother Theresa, the wealthy socialite, has picked up an almond milk addiction. After spilling your secrets, "Give It To Me Right" by Melanie Fiona begins to play and you all take turns dancing.”
"You are a luciferous woman about to reunite with your 4 best lady friends at your 7 year college reunion. Kristin Stewart has called off work at her law firm to pick up your bikey friend Chris Beech, who is currently working at Philadelphia University as a mechanical communications professor. Your smelly friend Eddie Izzard, an opthamologist, meets you at the reunion, where the four of you bribe a cute RA with 13 bucks to let you spend the night in your surprisingly ketchupy old dorm. The gang is nearly all here, but you’re missing your fabulous socialite friend Bette Midler, who is known for her globe-trotting adventures and famous lovers, including Brad Yoder, the bestest shoemaker in the world. Speak of the devil! Bette Midler appears around the corner, touting twice her weight in strawberries. Later, you jump up with one of the now-empty bottles of strawberries, exclaim: “I’ve been bad!” and confess to your girlfriends that you’ve been cheating on your punk husband with your young, sexy word nerd. One by one, your girlfriends spill their dirty secrets of the last 7 years. Kristin Stewart has been involved in insider trading with IBM, while Chris Beech plagiarized a paper on sexual symbolism in "Gone With the Wind" from her unrealistically nefarious grad student. Eddie Izzard, totally strapped for cash due to her compulsive pasta consumption, has been writing prescriptions for depression medication for bored housewives. Bette Midler, the wealthy socialite, has picked up a bleach addiction. After spilling your secrets, "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round" begins to play and you all take turns biting.”
"You are a spritely woman about to reunite with your 4 best lady friends at your 2 year college reunion. Alex Wert has called off work at her law firm to pick up your leafy friend Trish Rica, who is currently working at San Jose University as a robot scientist professor. Your fluffy friend Wolverine, a robot, meets you at the reunion, where the four of you bribe a cute RA with 42 bucks to let you spend the night in your surprisingly smelly old dorm. The gang is nearly all here, but you’re missing your fabulous socialite friend Debbie Gibson, who is known for her globe-trotting adventures and famous lovers, including Bob Log 3, the bestest cat therapist in the world. Speak of the devil! Debbie Gibson appears around the corner, touting twice her weight in cheese. Later, you jump up with one of the now-empty bottles of cheese, exclaim: “I’ve been bad!” and confess to your girlfriends that you’ve been cheating on your sticky husband with your young, sexy shepherd. One by one, your girlfriends spill their dirty secrets of the last 2 years. Alex Wert has been involved in insider trading with Dow Chemical, while Trish Rica plagiarized a paper on sexual symbolism in "Tortilla Flats" from her unrealistically squishy grad student. Wolverine, totally strapped for cash due to her compulsive tossed salad consumption, has been writing prescriptions for Republicanism medication for bored housewives. Debbie Gibson, the wealthy socialite, has picked up an coffee addiction. After spilling your secrets, "We Belong" by Pat Benetar begins to play and you all take turns wanking.”
Planned Parenthood: Freebie checkpoint! Here there were no bonus points available; instead, volunteers handed out condoms and information packets supplied by Planned Parenthood!
South Side Works: At the town square in front of the Cheese Cake Factory and the movie theater, riders were told that they could earn 1 bonus point each for
- texting a picture of themselves wearing heels to Anna-Lena’s phone before 5pm
- showing up at the finish with their nails painted (all ten! any color except clear!)
The Bonus Checkpoints!
A number of very enthusiastic guys were hanging out at the St James St Gastropub and Speakeasy, The Round Corner Cantina, and OTB Over The Bar Bicycle Cafe. Riders were given possibly less-than-clear pictures of them along with their first names, and told to go find em! They had a good time trying to figure out who was who (Kitaira ended up with a few too many phone numbers…) and enjoying a break from the snow with some beers and good company. All the guys had a good time interacting with the cyclists; Chris and Chris sat together at OTB just to be ridiculous, Eric gave up his compliment in exchange for a Happy Birthday wish for his sister, and more than a few of the phone numbers brought back were “867-5309.” Some riders caught up with Anna-Lena at the Cantina, where the friendly bartender spotted her and the other volunteers a shot of tequila.
At the end of the race, any first time visitors to the House of Raging Women made their way to the purple front door to find a sign taped to it: “Find the back door! Hint: Pumpkin Bike!” Possibly pausing for a minute to curse the Lawrenceville hill, they then made their way around the entire block (row houses!) and down the alley, where Anna-Lena’s pumpkin bike was locked up to the fence. Their manifests, receipts and phone numbers were collected by Di-ay and they ate lasagna, drank cans of PBR or filled their lovely plastic cocktail glasses from the vat of cosmopolitain mix, and waited while Anna-Lena tallied up the points.
Remember the flashcards riders filled out at the beginning of the race? When they finished, they could check out all the cards pinned up at the house. Here’s a list of the rad ladies people thought of!
Mary Kowalski, my mom!!
My Wife! Rachel
Snot Rocket Science
Mommy Stalter (my mommy!)
Around 6pm, everyone gathered around the prize table and the winners were announced!
Ben grabs a Ladies Night: The Alleycat shirt in gold foil
Ben and Anna-Lena gleefully show off their Babes on Bikes: Zodicat the Alleycat shirts
Nico tries on the Pabst Blue Ribbon hot pants, but sadly they don’t fit
Katie takes the OTB gift card
Frankie got one of our favorite prizes! The Susan B Anthony shirt donated by the Cotton Factory!
Laurel goes straight for a Pabst Blue Ribbon beach towel
Patricia scopes out the prize table
Lucia does a little dance with her new Hello Kitty alarm clock
Erok looks stunning in his new hot pants
It was a great ride and a great party! Thanks so much for everyone who came out to ride, we could tell you all thoroughly enjoyed yourselves despite the snow! And thanks SO MUCH to our volunteers!: Aaron K, Alex A, Alistair S, Anne E, Anne H, Chris A, Chris C, Chris G, Chris W, Dawn S, Ian B, John L, Jon P, Kate D, Kayla C, Olga B, Rob W, Scott K, Stef B
See you at the next race!